ChipsNet.net

I don't generally see any humor in something when it involves death, especially of a beloved pet, but this tale includes an interesting trail of events, that bares telling.  So without further a-deaux, I present: Death on the Hilltop . . . We moved from Texas to Missouri last June; we also moved my parents, who are in their mid-80's, who were living with us in Texas, as well.  My parents inhabit a bedroom and bathroom in the basement, which walks out onto a balcony (yes, off of the basement); the balcony ends, where the slope of the hill that we live on descends at a 45-degree angle, down into a deep gully that goes on for about 3 acres.  The balcony is where my dad's dog Curley lived in an Igloo doghouse complete with heated sleeping pad for the cold winter months. 

Curley was a short-haired, Border Collie, and could stand on his hind legs and look me in the eye; he could do the same to my dad which would dwarf my dad's 5' 6" thin frame.  When he did this to anyone else, my dad would command him to get down; however, he would let Curley stand there with his paws on his shoulder, and listen as Curley spoke to him in little whining yelps.  When Curley would be at the sliding glass doors, you could wave at him and he would talk to you with the same whining yelps; needless to say, the entire family loved this 10-year old dog that we had rescued from an animal shelter in Texas.

When one moves into a new home it is always a good idea to get to know your local law enforcement personnel; however, this may not be the appropriate way of doing so. I need to inform any visual people, who are embarking upon the reading of this tale, to please forgive the images that will, no doubt, be conjured up in one's mind, as it is just a part of the story, and could not be omitted; thus, read at your own risk. So now I shall begin the tale . . .

The moon shown brightly, gleaming thru all of the tall trees on the side of the hill where our new house sits. For those who may not know, I closed on a home in Wildwood, MO on February 12th and have stayed there many nights under the watchful eye of my wife, but had never stayed out there by myself, that is until last night. Another part of the tale is that we got our Burglar Alarm activated yesterday, and I had been thru the time-consuming required 3-week course for Burglar Alarm Operations 101 in the mere 5 minutes that the technician felt that it would take to dispel all of the intricacies of the operation of the alarm system. To verify that I had retained the alarm system information, I decided to set the alarm for "Stay," which disables all internal motion detectors, but keeps all doors armed. The alarm chirped the signal that I interpreted as "OK, you are now safe and secure in your new home."

Here is another "Chip has moved to Missouri and is Staying Alone" story . . . My goodness, will it ever quit.

I came home from work yesterday after a meeting at the DoubleTree and stopped by the mail box and got the mail. While there, I noticed that the little pine trees, that had been Chain-sawed into submission, from a cute Christmas Tree shapes, into a Grinch-ly attempt at forming hedge bushes, were looking a tad bit on the dry side. Being from Texas, and never having met the acquaintance of pine trees before, other than at Christmas, the hedges were looking like a dried out Christmas Tree in the beginning of March . . . more needles off than on.

As I walked into the Garage, I caught the sight of my sprinkler system panel, which looked no less than a Launch Console at the Johnson Space Center . . . so I thought to myself, "Self, you are technologically advanced enough to get this system working by yourself. . ." Famous last words were just uttered. I rushed into the house to dress for the occasion . . . I was about to begin my first Yardwork Day at the new house.

Doug and Chip, two mild-mannered consulting guys, were on their way home from Corpus Christi Airport after a long day of travel from St Louis. It was a bright night as the moon crept into the South Texas sky; deer were everywhere feeding next to Hi-way 77 North, which was the path taken by the unsuspecting consulting guys, a path they had traveled many times before.
"Ya know," Doug said, "one of these days, we are going to hit one of those deer . . ."
"Yep," Chip replied.